Well-Roundedness

  • By Carmen Tarleton
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  • Thursday, August 6, 2015
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We all have our strengths and weaknesses, that is the nature of human form.  I believe we are here to experience the joy and happiness of being alive, as well as the pain.

We all can appreciate the great times because we are so aware , too aware sometimes, of the negative ones.  But what about being more well-rounded?  What about working on letting go of the fear and worry that we carry around about our weaknesses?

The culture we live in doesn’t support weakness and is quite myopic on just strength .  The good thing is that culture is always changing by the changing of each person.  If we started dealing with our weaknesses, that cause our dysfunction and unhappiness, not only would we empower ourselves but our culture as well.

Weaknesses make us uncomfortable, shameful and guilty feeling.  It can damage our self worth and self esteem.   They can freeze us where we are and not allow us to have the lives we want.  If you can believe you can change your world, then take a few steps .  You will be blessed by your efforts and your life , relationships, health can all improve.  Be brave.

Resiliency

  • By Carmen Tarleton
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  • Tuesday, June 30, 2015
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Resilience is not holding on to the negative situation for very long, just until you remember to focus on the solution.  You can make a choice to find all the blame, unfairness and pain in a negative event and stay there, or you can turn your attention to how this negative event can help you move towards your goals and dreams.  Let life show you where to go, as you stay focused on your end result.

We can choose our paths, but not the people on the path, not the events.  Getting stuck on something that has already happened, that you have no control over, to me is wasting our time and energy.  Done is done.  There is always a way to move forward, even when no one else thinks there is!  Move forward , keep your goals in the front of your mind and let the universe do its part.  

Be resilient , remind yourself that negative things gives us a way to find our true happiness.  Life is not fair and has never intended to be, so take that knowledge and don’t move forward while looking in the rear-view mirror.  That only keeps you in the same place.  The place where everything has already happened and where you cannot change or control it.  That really doesn’t make much sense, does it?

Resilience allows you to keep your heart and head together, in the same place with the ability to step forward. 
I wish you all the best.

Previous Blog from November 2012

  • By Carmen Tarleton
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  • Tuesday, June 16, 2015
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  • 1 Comments

I found this and thought that it might be good to post it again.  I need reminding sometimes! I editited it a little bit.

I remember being a kid and watching my own children, so excited with whatever big was coming. Whether it be Christmas or birthdays, or simply going to get ice cream, the anticipation of the event was glorious!
What happened to us? Why have we let go of the glorious feeling of what will be, for the stress and anxiety of impatience? We had it as children and even when we could not stand waiting any longer, we were silly, giddy with anticipation, all without thinking, all naturally.

What happened to us? We let life, society and culture get in the way. As we grew, we started to believe what the outside world was telling us. I made the difficult  choice for me. I chose to abandon my inner knowing for adulthood. After my injury, I felt that I made the choice to live, so I was going to find my way back to happiness. I had to find that natural confidence in life that I had as a child. That feeling that all is well even tho you have no idea what is going to happen. The feeling that you can control a lot of what you live, just by attitude alone.

Patience isn’t really patience at all, because it is unconditional.  It is the ability to watch life unfold right before you, without the need to have it different than what is. It is the knowing that you knew as a child. The one you let go of. Go back there and you will find many gifts. Gifts you would have never consciously given away.

Emotional Toughness

  • By Carmen Tarleton
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  • Tuesday, June 9, 2015
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As a society, we seem to pride ourselves on being “tough”.  Physically strong, mentally unbreakable and sometimes even wimpy if we cry.  Of course some still raise our boys with “big boys don’t cry.”

How do we become emotional tough?  In today’s world, I think being emotionally tough can bring a lot of advantages and opportunities to those who can find their way through the drama.  

The drama can be fun, when it is in a positive light, but when we get caught in the quagmire of negativity, it takes emotional toughness and clarity to move forward.  So many get stuck in the same place, emotionally, for far too long.

Those that are able to look deep within to who they are and really want to be, have a chance to live a life that will surprise them, thrill them and bring them true satisfaction.  Courage, bravery and a lot of love are just waiting for the next person to choose a path less traveled.

Special Times

  • By Carmen Tarleton
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  • Wednesday, May 6, 2015
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Oh how I love the great times!  Somehow all of the difficult times and struggles, just seem worth it.

My trip to California a couple of weeks ago, was so good for me.  Not only was it such an inspirational week, it shows me how my life gets better and better.

After all of the traveling, speaking and galavanting around, I noticed how well I physically tolerated the trip.  I did so much better, I was so much more comfortable than before.  I felt it,  I appreciated it and I am always looking forward to reaching the next goal, however little or big it is.  All is well in the moment and that attitude gets me to the next place to receive more happiness through good times and great love!

Life certainly is what you make it!  Thank goodness for choices!!

Extraordinary Gift

  • By Carmen Tarleton
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  • Wednesday, February 11, 2015
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  • 1 Comments

Two years ago tomorrow , you began  the end of your physical presence here with us.  I can only imagine the heartbreak of your daughter, one that my own daughters were spared from experiencing too early.

Your gift to me is not only profound and extraordinary, it is the truest gift of love that I could receive.  I know you are well aware of my gratitude, appreciation and comfort.

Although I wear this face as my own, it is still a part of you.  I will continue to honor your gift, continue to connect with your selflessness and pay it forward to as many as possible.

You left changing the world, changing me, Marinda and all that come in contact with us.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Lifetime Consequences

  • By Carmen Tarleton
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  • Wednesday, January 21, 2015
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After the shooting at the Brigham yesterday , I found myself thinking about all the negative consequences that some people are unconsciously choosing.  Although society does not accept this, people find themselves in such a negative, painful place that the option to take someone else’s life before your own,  is acceptable to them.

We all know how unfair this is to those left behind.  But, done is done.  We cannot change the past.  But how can we make a difference?

I will incorporate this desperation in my future talks.  I never contemplaed taking anyone’s life intentionally , even Herb’s, but I know what it is like to feel so hopeless that happiness will not be obtainable.

We may not understand why, but we can overcome our tragedies and move forward, stronger.  Believe that you can.

Borrowed Time

  • By Carmen Tarleton
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  • Tuesday, January 20, 2015
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There is something significant about the feeling of borrowed time.  Of course anyone who has had a close call with losing their life, can understand this.  

I am hoping that I , like my cat friends, have nine lives.  I plan to come back from each one!  Seriously though,  I have a feeling of being on “borrowed time.”  I have taken on uncertainty since my injury.  One being my face transplant.

There were never any guarantees and I knew this from the beginning.  Although I do not spend a long time focusing on this, it does come to my attention at important times.

I have a grandson now, the next generation.  Since his birth, I have been re-evaluating my own appreciation of my life.  I feel that his presences has given me an opportunity to reflect on how much I do appreciate being here.  

I sometimes move to fast towards the future, and I need to be reminded by the great changes in my life, to stop and count the blessings and there are so many of those!

Something Positive About Negative Things

  • By Carmen Tarleton
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  • Monday, January 12, 2015
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Sounds a little funny doesn’t it?  But we all know there are two sides to everything, at least in our world.  Up, down, big , little, fast and slow.  The same goes for the events in our lives as well.  Positive events for some, end up being negative events for others.

I have to search, long and hard sometimes to find the opportunity in a negative event.  And frankly, sometimes I don’t ever feel that I do find it.  But, never the less, life gives me what I need.  I use all that I am aware of to move forward with what I am wanting.  I have been shown that the opportunities are bigger in the large, more difficult circumstances.

I still struggle in the moment sometimes to see that.  I too, get frustrated that life is not ending a painful situation for me.  But I have a strong perserverence, a gift really.  One that I hold onto and easily appreciate.

Stay strong , look for that opportunity.  It will come if you hold it in your thoughts and heart.

New Year, New Start

  • By Carmen Tarleton
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  • Monday, January 5, 2015
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I always enjoy the New Year.  It makes me take the time to reflect on the last 12 months.  I had a great 2014 , in the way of my speaking, traveling and relationships.  I received many gifts, including my first grandchild.

I am looking forward to an even better, more inspiring and awesome new year! I am starting several new projects, including developing my second book.  This one will include more of my emotional and spiritual journey , along with the love story of meeting Sheldon and my face transplant experience.

Of course, life is not always easy or comfortable, so the more difficult challenges will be included as well.  I am blessed to find the strength needed to find my way, on my terms and hope to help others find theirs.

Happy New Year!!!